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Playing Stimulus-Response Games With The Kos Kiddies

Stimulus: Editorial purportedly authored by Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, “dug up” by Iowahawk entitled “Stop Questioning My Patriotism”, in which “al-Zarqawi” maintains that his jihad is actually the purest form of dissent against the Bush neocon cabal and thus the sincerest form of patriotism known to man. To wit:

This chilling wind should alarm the millions of Americans and future-Americans everywhere who have called for the immediate timed withdrawal of US troops from Iraq, and have expressed their opinion through their local newspapers, peace marches, and rocket-propelled grenades. It sometimes seems that the Administration is more interested in the “rights” of their foreign Iraqi clients than the rights of their own citizens, and their own inevitable invading conquerors.

If nothing else, the Fourth of July should prompt all Americans, whether they are an infidel fornicating whore-woman in a Miami strip club or a fresh-faced enlistee in a secret Prague martyr cell, to reflect on the true meaning of ‘patriotism.’ To me, patriotism is not some empty flag-waving gesture, or spouting jingoistic slogans. To me, dissent is the real patriotism. And what could be more patriotic than the ultimate in dissent – bloody jihad against the kufr and their heretic puppets in Baghdad?

Response: al-Zarqawi’s editorial hit a bit close to home for some Daily Kosites, apparently, and sent them home, crying to momma about neo-McCarthyites.

Response to the Response: al-Zarqawi, never one to take criticism lying down, fired back with another angry editorial entitled “Stop Comparing Me To American Moonbats”. A snippet:

And please, don’t even get me started about the armchair quarterbacking. They want you to kill crusaders, but only enough that the other ones go home, I guess so they can film the survivors for a weepy poignant Vietnam documentary. Oh yeah, great plan, Field Marshall Von Sundance. I’m right on it, just as soon I FIND A PLACE WHERE I CAN GET TWO F[***]ING HOURS OF BOMB-FREE SLEEP.

Holy dung, like I don’t have enough of my own local idiots to put up with. Do you realize how hard it is to find decent jihad recruits when you’re taking fire from infidels and Iraqis? Cripes, you should have seen the collection of numbnuts and droolers on the short bus from Saudi yesterday. Good Allah, I swear the only way we’re ever gonna turn these morons into martyrs is to plant detonation buttons inside their nostrils.

Bwahahahah.

Published in Humor Politics