Things You Don’t Want To Hear On Your Commute, As Uttered By A Frantic Wife

“Your son is bleeding from the mouth because he jumped face-first off the couch. Please come back home.” (paraphrased)

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Thankfully, he appears to be, although he was very clingy and reticent to let us take a look. It actually turned out to be a two person job just to 1) restrain him and 2) look in his mouth to make sure all his teeth were still intact.
A few sniffles and much hugging later and he appears to be all right. Now we just need to work on this whole “actions have consequences…” thing (a mighty hard concept for 11 month olds to grasp, apparently).

It gets worse. I know it may sound hard to believe, but it gets worse.
Our day just isn’t complete without The Boy (TM) doing a faceplant somewhere, and he’s 3! Of course, he’s made of rubber, and usually laughs it off ( “I fell. It was an axxdent”), but man oh man have we heard a few loud clunks on the hardwood…
His behavior frequently allows me to utter my favorite Hill-ism : “That boy aint right”, and it’s corollary “6am am already that boy ain right”.