Memo to Brad:
If you are unable to convince your employer of the folly of their recent moves, I will hold you personally responsible. I mean, they can sell cigarettes, lunch meat and mac n’ cheese all they want, but when the mess with Miracle Whip, why, they’ve gone too far! They must be stopped, I tell you – it’s no longer a Miracle, but rather more of a “Striking Coincidence” or “One-In-Ten-Thousand” Whip.
