It Would Be Far Funnier If It Weren’t So Close To The Truth

The Onion has a delightful piece this week titled Media Landscape Redefined By 24-Second News Cycle. As an avowed hater of CNN: Headline News and the idiotic 20 minute news spin cycle it has ushered in, I was howling at quips such as

CNN is widely credited with initiating the acceleration of the modern news cycle with the fall 2006 debut of its spin-off channel CNN:24, which provides a breaking news story, an update on that story, and a news recap all within 24 seconds. In addition to creating its groundbreaking format, CNN:24 broke many important stories with reports such as “Ford No Money Everyone Fired,” “Iraq Bomb Kill Truck,” “Country Hates Bush,” “Dow High Now,” and “Squirrel Water Skis.”
“TV news reporting has always been about breaking the story down into only the barest, most salient facts, but the breakneck pace of contemporary reportage doesn’t allow for that anymore,” said Professor Robert Kubey, director of the Center for Media Studies at Rutgers University. “Today’s ace reporter isn’t the one with the best command of the language, but the one who can say ‘Congress!’ or ‘Health care?’ or ‘Slam dunk!’ with the most appropriate expression on his or her face.”

Heh. Go ye and read the whole thing.