A Post In Which I Give Voice To Inanimate Objects In An Attempt To Reenact A Scene “Ripped From My Own Personal Headlines”

Unidentified sharp object in road: “I’m pointy! And fierce!”

My Taurus’ left front tire: “Pop!”

Me: “…”

My Taurus’ left front tire: “Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!”

Me: “Shazbot!”

UPDATE:

Just Tires Cash Register: “That’ll be $30, please.”

Me: [unintelligible grumbling]

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