Literal Barrage

Several disturbing conspiracies have come to light recently and I just can't keep quiet about them any more.
First up is the Great Shrinking Cadbury Creme Egg conspiracy, as pointed out by noted researcher and comedian B.J. Novak:

I knew something was up when Cadbury, that most English of companies, was gobbled up by a Swiss company [...]

Via Best of the Web we have word of a troubling development in the world of outdoor food preparation:

The government of Belgium's French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported.
Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called [...]

I hope all of your Thanksgiving weekends were nice. I spent most of it AFK, as it were. Wife, child and I trekked over to my aunt and uncle's place in Reading for Thanksgiving Day festivities. In tow we had my wife's famous cornbread dressing ("stuffing", to we Yankees), pecan "tassies" (think "miniature [...]

Those of you fortunate enough to have a Trader Joe's grocery store nearby know the wonders of shopping there: vast and various (and ever-changing) selections of foods for prices that lead one to suspect that "Trader Joe" is actually "Trader Joey 'The Shiv' Giambino", ever-willing to sell foodstuffs that just "happened" to "fall off the [...]

Memo to Brad:
If you are unable to convince your employer of the folly of their recent moves, I will hold you personally responsible. I mean, they can sell cigarettes, lunch meat and mac n' cheese all they want, but when the mess with Miracle Whip, why, they've gone too far! They must be [...]

I bow before the meat-eating prowess of R. "Bacon Is A Vegetable" Stevens of Diesel Sweeties fame for his construction of the ultimate American food: Hot Dog Loaf. Take two all-beef franks, wrap them in traditional meatloaf-y goodness and then bake it to completion. Mmmm, beefy. I would have used Ball Park [...]

…Because otherwise I'd have to stop, seeing as they're sponsoring a rally for illegal immigration to the tune of $30,000.
Disgusting. The beer, I mean. Their actions are deplorable, too. Good thing I've got the Ying - cheap, good, local, and, oh yeah, they don't sponsor illegal immigration.