Literal Barrage

Is it just the Northeast, or are peanut butter Twix unavailable all across this great nation?
I ask, because the caramel variant is a poor relation, an imitation, a candied poseur of the first order whose continued existence in vending machines and on store shelves is unexplainable. Their wrapper is a mockery of proper palates, [...]

Last week was a week full of fun, family, friends, frivolity and lots of driving.
Brad has already admirably covered our brief stint in Norf Caruhlienuh, so I will decline to comment upon it except to note that I look far more like John Belushi as "Samurai Delicatessen" samurai than the prototypical Westernized depiction of Jesus.
So [...]

Several disturbing conspiracies have come to light recently and I just can't keep quiet about them any more.
First up is the Great Shrinking Cadbury Creme Egg conspiracy, as pointed out by noted researcher and comedian B.J. Novak:

I knew something was up when Cadbury, that most English of companies, was gobbled up by a Swiss company [...]

Via Best of the Web we have word of a troubling development in the world of outdoor food preparation:

The government of Belgium's French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported.
Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called [...]

I hope all of your Thanksgiving weekends were nice. I spent most of it AFK, as it were. Wife, child and I trekked over to my aunt and uncle's place in Reading for Thanksgiving Day festivities. In tow we had my wife's famous cornbread dressing ("stuffing", to we Yankees), pecan "tassies" (think "miniature [...]

Those of you fortunate enough to have a Trader Joe's grocery store nearby know the wonders of shopping there: vast and various (and ever-changing) selections of foods for prices that lead one to suspect that "Trader Joe" is actually "Trader Joey 'The Shiv' Giambino", ever-willing to sell foodstuffs that just "happened" to "fall off the [...]

Memo to Brad:
If you are unable to convince your employer of the folly of their recent moves, I will hold you personally responsible. I mean, they can sell cigarettes, lunch meat and mac n' cheese all they want, but when the mess with Miracle Whip, why, they've gone too far! They must be [...]