Literal Barrage

I bow before the meat-eating prowess of R. "Bacon Is A Vegetable" Stevens of Diesel Sweeties fame for his construction of the ultimate American food: Hot Dog Loaf. Take two all-beef franks, wrap them in traditional meatloaf-y goodness and then bake it to completion. Mmmm, beefy. I would have used Ball Park [...]

…Because otherwise I'd have to stop, seeing as they're sponsoring a rally for illegal immigration to the tune of $30,000.
Disgusting. The beer, I mean. Their actions are deplorable, too. Good thing I've got the Ying - cheap, good, local, and, oh yeah, they don't sponsor illegal immigration.

Dear Kellogg's Management,
As tempting as it may be, I would ask that you actively reconsider any pending hiring decisions for the position of "taste consultant" or "flavor engineer" involving one Sean Gleeson, as the damage to your corporate image could well be irreparable.
As evidence for my request, I offer his recent articles Rejected Pop-Tart [...]

In the interests of pursuing a healthier lifestyle and scintillating conversation, several of my coworkers and I take a walk during our lunch break on a nigh-daily basis. Our usual route leads us through the Vlasic parking lot which generally resembles your run-of-the-mill corporate parking facility. However, a couple of days ago, we [...]

What do "Smoky, Honey, Body, Sweetness, Medicinal, Tobacco, Spicy, Winey, Nutty, Malty, Fruity and Floral" have to do with each other?
Are they newly-incorporated Disney dwarfs? Exotic dancers? Proposed hurricane names?
Nope. They're the newly-certified "12 tastes of whisky", meaning that you can be officially snobbed by whisky/Scotch conisse… coinnessu… aw, heck, experts like your wine-swilling [...]

Saturday was an unseasonably warm day, with the highs reaching into the 80's. There was nary a cloud in the sky for most of the day and a light, pleasant breeze served to keep things from getting too stifling. All in all, it was the kind of a day that one relishes spending [...]

As I wended my way in to work today, I noted with a glum eye that the Northeast Philly Krispy Kreme has closed its doors, with very little warning.
How ever will I get my disgustingly-fat-laden-melt-in-your-mouth-good donut fix now? A shock of that magnitude could give a person a heart attack. Wait, bad example…