Requesting Medical Advice

Help me out! Dig!
All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss
-"Living With a Hernia", Weird Al Yankovic

Attention, any and all readers [...]