NYC Mayor To Feed Alligators In Hopes of Being Eaten Last

In a stunning announcement today, New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg has offered any and all potential “peaceful protestors” at the Republican convention buttons that will gain them access to discounts at a series of NYC restaurants, stores and museums.
In other news, the mayor of Athens promised steep discounts on ouzo, gyros and official Olympic gear to any and all Canadians that refrain from donning blue tutus and jumping into the acquatics center diving pool.
No word on whether Jeb Bush is planning on offering discounts on large screen TVs to potential looters at Tampa-area Circuit City, Best Buy and Sears stores. The Iraqi mayor of Najaf is apparently considering offering four fried chickens and a Mecca Cola to any and all Mehdi “Army” members willing to refrain from shooting at anyone and anything.

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