Gustatory Assault And Battery

“Sir, put down the burrito and step away from the car!”
Heh:

CLOVIS, N.M. – A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.
Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.
The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.
[…]
State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff’s Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.
[…]
Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.
“The kid was sitting there as I’m describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he’s thinking, ‘Oh, my gosh, they’re talking about my burrito.'”
Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.
“He said, ‘I think I’m the person they saw,'” Russell said.
The burrito was part of Morrissey’s extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.
“We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos,” Morrissey said.
After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office.
“The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. It was a laughter of relief,” Morrissey said.

I think the kid may have an added advantage in his extra credit assignment, as his experience practically writes the slogans for his giant burrito:
“So good, it ought to be illegal.”
“Want to try a Mega Burrito? Feeling lucky, punk?”
“Deluxe Burrito: It’s Not the Bomb.”