Wow. Just… Wow.

Folks, you know the drill:

Words fail me. I think I’ve still got tears in my eyes.
Came across these on Instapundit and LGF.
UPDATE:
It has been pointed out to me that Kerry may actually be a Freemason, suffering from cranial-rectal impaction or he may simply be attempting to find his posterior without the aide of both hands, a map, or a compass.
UPDATE 2:
More incriminating evidence of Kerry’s inability to play American (as opposed to Metric) Football: