As noted previously, I had high hopes for this year’s incarnation of fantasy football and, thus far, those hopes have largely been met.
While I finished a dismal 0-13 and 2-11 in my two previous years, I have jumped out to a comfortable 6-2 record in the first 4 weeks of the season (we’re operating on a double-header schedule, since we have 40 teams total in the league and we wanted to get everyone a chance to play as many other people as possible). 1/3rd of the way through the regular season, I’m in first place in my division. and, as long as Donovan McNabb keeps throwing up the big points, I think I’m poised to stay that way.
In order to liven things up a bit, I’ve been creating new and different “smack-talking” images each week to display on the league’s front page. I’ve had a good bit of fun thus far, so I thought I’d archive the images here for posterity’s sake. Each week’s results will be posted with that week’s image.
Preseason
My preseason images were intended to be more generalized braggadoccio, meant to enrage all potential adversaries, thus rendering them incapable of mounting a coherent defense. We’ll see how that works out.
Week 1
The Barrage (162.50 pts) defeated Caucasion Sensation (89.50 pts)
The Barrage (162.50 pts) defeated The Venerable Sheep (93.25 pts)
My cunning plan obviously worked, as I started the season off with two wins. Conan’s head isn’t meant to enrage, but rather distract. Can you feel the metal flow as he “rocks out” and pays homage to the Dark Lords of Rock?
Week 2
The Barrage (191.75 pts) defeated Willow Grove Gunners (150.00 pts)
The Barrage (191.75 pts) defeated FROGS RULE (164.75 pts)
Obivously my distraction ploy worked. FEAR THE MIGHTY LASER RACOONS!
Week 3
bassbombers (143.00 pts) defeated The Barrage (120.00 pts)
Team Faith (137.25 pts) defeated The Barrage (120.00 pts)
I believe I reverted to the Colbert generalized mocking, as shown above, for week 3. You can see the dismal results.
Week 4
The Barrage (167.00 pts) defeated The Hebrew Hammer (107.00 pts)
The Barrage (167.00 pts) defeated Public Enemy (145.00 pts)
Week 4 brought about the advent of specially-tailored images, aimed directly at the hearts of my opponents. The results were quite satisfactory, as you can see.
Week 5
I believe I shall be continuing this practice. Look forward, in weeks to come, to uniquely customized church signs, historical and political figures, records (45’s and 78’s) and whatever else comes to mind.
Go, Barrage!
Looking to continue the trend, I am deploying the above image in the hopes of sending my week 5 foes down in ignominious defeat.
