From The Dep’t Of Unintentional Hilarity, Google Voice Edition

I’ve been a Grand Central member since they were doing private betas and never had a whole lot of use for the service, but since Google activated Google Voice, I’ve been giving the whole shebang a thorough going-over.
The feature set is definitely reduced from the GC days, but one nifty addition is voicemail transcription. Some folks have worried over the privacy implications of allowing Google to effectively “read” your voice mail but I’m not worried. As I said, I’m using this nifty feature right now. I say “nifty”, not so much because it actually works, but because it doesn’t work and, as the title of the post suggests, results in unintentional hilarity.
To wit:

[Names/phone numbers redacted where necessary.]
Thanks to Google Voice transcription, my wife now callsfriends now call me “hey dark dark”, I don’t work store, jeff just called and said “that dude five four oh hey pete” and I’m liken some gypsum board, I tell you whut.
(The feature stays on, as I haven’t laughed this hard in ages.)