Helpful Wedding Advice For Grooms-To-Be

Brad, are you taking notes?
In the wake of SarahK and FrankJ’s engagement announcement, Harvey over at IMAO has posted some helpful advice for those men who are going to get married soon.
A sampling:

Remember this, Mr. Groom: you just spent 3 years salary on her engagement ring and wedding band. Make sure she’s completely finished using those before buying her any more jewelry.
The purpose of bridesmaid’s dresses is to be ugly enough to ensure that the bride is the prettiest woman at the ceremony. If you’re marrying anyone else besides SarahK, make the dresses out of old tablecloths, just to be sure.
Save money on catering expenses by holding your reception at a homeless shelter. YAY! Free soup!
And fewer fleas than at Frank J’s place.
Don’t waste money on a band or DJ. All you need in order to dance is a beat. A dripping faucet works just fine.
At the reception, the guests will start tapping rapidly on their glassware to get the happy couple to kiss each other. Do NOT try to dance to this.