Helpful Advice For Tax Day

Frank J. chimes in with some helpful advice for those of us who are nervous about paying our taxes this Friday. A few snippets:

* Taxes strike violently without notice at the exact same time each year.
* A lot of people get excited when they get some of the money back that the government had been taking from his or her paycheck all year; this is a bit like if there was a robber who kept breaking in and stealing your stuff each week, and you got all excited when, after a year, he brings back your T.V.
* Some people don’t calculate things right and have to voluntarily hand over their stereo to the robber when he visits after a year.
* The government takes money out of each paycheck because, if once a year everyone actually had to write a check for their income tax, there would be a huge riot. I want all my money each paycheck and a cool riot!
* If taxes are after you, don’t try praying to God for help because He’s currently dodging omnipotence tax.
* On the plus side, taxes are what brought down Al Capone. They also killed Hitler.
* The best way to avoid taxes is to lie in a ditch and curl up into a fetal position. It’s only two days until taxes are due, though, so it’s probably too late to find a good ditch that isn’t already taken.