Al Qaeda Comes Down Against Bending It, For Keeping Sexy Right Where It Was

It seems as if, in a bid for popular American support, al Qaeda operatives have released a video threatening the lives of David Beckham and Justin Timberlake for “corrupting” young Islamic minds.
I, like much of the viewing public, remain mixed in my reaction to this news. On the one hand, al Qaeda. On the other hand, bodily harm to Beckham and Timberlake. If alQ were truly intelligent, they’d release a follow-up mentioning Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and Michael Vick by name, thus securing the support of roughly 99% of Americans.
In all seriousness, though, what is it with these fanatics? A bigger bunch of cosmic killjoys I’ve never seen…!