Here are, in no particular order, the top signs that you’ve been playing too much Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow:

  1. When you enter a room, you immediately look for lights to shoot out to give you cover.
  2. You’ve Googled East Timor in order to find out where the heck it is.
  3. You’ve attempted a split jump.
  4. You wish that you had that thermal vision thingy that Fisher has so you could see police speed traps a mile away.
  5. You’ve thought about using a diversion cam in order to distract your boss long enough for you to slip into the shadows and out of sight.
  6. You use a fiber optic cable to check what’s on the other side of a door before going through it.
  7. After locking yourself out of your house, you find yourself wishing that you could just mash on W, A, S and D in order to jimmy the lock.
  8. You find yourself holding your breath when trying to make a sniper shot in Unreal Tournament.
  9. You’ve ever contemplated how cool it would be to have a game with Sam Fisher and Solid Snake (Splinter Cell: Solid? Metal Cell: Sons of Pandora?)


You don’t have the power to run that game and you know it! Go buy yourself that computer so you can school me in UT2k4!!!