Three Christmas songs whose entire physical record, including master recordings, lyric sheets, cover versions, hard drives containing MP3 versions, etc. should be placed inside a Titan IV and fired into the Sun to prevent them from ever being played again:
- “Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney & Wings
- “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses
- “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon
The mere appearance of any of these songs on any station playing Christmas music is enough to make my vision cloud red. Their “melodious” strains instantly kill all semblance of any holiday cheer in my being and leave me in a foul mood for at least 15 minutes.
Not listed above are blanket Christmas catalog exceptions, such as Kenny G. and Celine Dion, each of whose oeuvre should be considered “weaponized suckage” and burned in an autoclave, then fired into the Sun.
You just love spreading that warm Christmas cheer don’t you?
Look, I have NO problem with the vast majority of Christmas music. Most is sappy, some is quite good.
The above-mentioned turds, though, are abominations, pestilences upon this land. They must be wiped out!