Superbowl Observations

  • A hobbled, recently-injured, 60%-effective Terrell Owens with little-to-no lateral cutting ability is roughly 3.46 times the player Freddie “The People’s Chump” Mitchell is at 100%, only with 49% less trash talking, guaranteed.
  • Ameriquest is a devious, devious company. Everyone knows that chimpanzees are scientifically proven to make commercials funnier. Throw in a whoopee cushion and you’ve got comedy gold!
  • Chili, brisket and beer are incredibly delicious. However, for gustatory and gastrointestinal reasons, one should limit oneself to two out of the three at any one time, particularly when in the company of other people, like, oh say, when hosting a Superbowl party.
  • The Roman numeral for 50 is “L”. The Roman numeral for ten is “X”. The Roman numeral for forty is therefore “XL”, meaning next year’s Superbowl will be “Superbowl XL”. Like they’re not going to exploit that one. Prepare for an all-out marketing blitz.
  • (With apologies to Frank J.) In a matchup between Aquaman and Freddie Mitchell, Mitchell would beat Aquaman over the middle for long gains at least twice unless the Superbowl was held at Seaworld, in which case Aquaman’s backer corps and d-backs (composed entirely of rescued dolphins and manatees) would mercilessly pester Mitchell all game resulting in no catches. Oh, and Owens would go long at least three times with a broken flipper and malfunctioning respirator, though his celebratory “wing flap” would be considerably slower underwater.
  • In the time it’s taken you to read this post, Andy Reid has had time to eat at least two consolation cheesesteaks and set fire to Freddie Mitchell’s contract extension.
  • You just know those Patriots that comitted penalties in the first half are going to have to report to minicamp early. Sure, they won the Superbowl, but Bill Belichick’s patience can only stretch so far, right?

Congrats, Pats, on another world championshp. Thanks, Eagles, for a hard-fought, entertaining game.

One Reply to “Superbowl Observations”

  1. My favorite part of the whole game was the ‘Bud Airplane’ commercial and the ice cream cake. I’ve
    really become a football fan over the last year, but that was some great cake.

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