A Post In Which I Give Voice To Inanimate Objects In An Attempt To Reenact A Scene “Ripped From My Own Personal Headlines”

Unidentified sharp object in road: “I’m pointy! And fierce!”
My Taurus’ left front tire: “Pop!”
Me: “…”
My Taurus’ left front tire: “Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!”
Me: “Shazbot!”
UPDATE:
Just Tires Cash Register: “That’ll be $30, please.”
Me: [unintelligible grumbling]