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“Alas, Poor TechTV, I Knew It, Horatio.”

When my wife and I first got DirecTV, I was extremely excited to find that TechTV was one of the channels that found its way onto my subscription package. While not all of the programming was top-flight, many of its offerings were entertaining (read: X Play) and sometimes even informative (read: The Screensavers before Patrick and Leo left). It was a sad, sad day when I found out that Comcast was buying TTV and merging it with the execrable G4TV. I predicted dire consequences: all the remaining talent would flee, the shows would become horribly exploitative and the entire channel would become little more than a 24 hour extended commercial for various video game companies. Oh, how I wish I had been wrong.
We’ve deactivated our DirecTV subscription (as both a money- and time-saving effort) and so, thankfully, I have not had to watch the once-entertaining programming slide into total depravity. Something Awful has been keeping track of the subsumed TTV and provides us with a helpful review of the channel’s current offerings. (Beware, kiddies: as is often the case with Something Awful, the language is coarse and juvenile, so go ye nae further if F-bombs bother ye).
It seems as if the channel isn’t a total loss, as the brief review of X Play points out:

X-Play
Adam Sessler is the [expletive] man. He’s a total geek and refuses to hide it, nay, he thrives on it. He throws himself into goofy and sometimes embarassing [sic] comedy segments which don’t always work, but when they do they’re great.
Morgan Webb is a Viking who was accidentally separated from her pillaging tribe a few years ago and wandered into the old TechTV studios. This is evident by her broadly set shoulders, attractive yet masculine facial features, and the once-blonde hair which she dyed a darker color to lull us all into a false sense of security. One day when she has completed work on the ship in her backyard she will throw Adam over her shoulder and set sail for her glorious homeland, vanquishing all who stand in her way.
The duo review games and do a great job, despite Morgan’s monotone voice (yet another ruse concealing her Viking heritage). More often than not I agree with a game’s score, but when I don’t agree the show typically explains things so well that I can understand where they’re coming from. Thankfully this show remains largely unchanged from its original version on TechTV.

*sigh* So much potential flushed down the toilet by money-grubbing cable execs who don’t understand their viewers.

5 responses to ““Alas, Poor TechTV, I Knew It, Horatio.””

  1. With Shakespearean foresight, Literal Barrage predicted the demise of much-beloved TechTV: I predicted dire consequences: all the remaining talent would flee, the shows would become horribly exploitative and the entire channel would become little more than a

  2. Brad Avatar
    Brad

    Morgan is one of those semi-goth sexy chicks, I will give him that. You watch the show once in a while and wonder where all the gamer chicks like her are!

  3. nobrainer Avatar

    Gamer chicks?
    You think there are actually that many?

  4. Doug Avatar
    Doug

    Their numbers are increasing. For this, I credit the original PlayStation – it brought video games out of the basements of geeks and into the mainstream. All the “cool” kids had PSs and that trend has only accelerated in recent years.

  5. Doug Avatar
    Doug

    Oh and sign up for a Gravatar already, Brad!