Do you know what I love about living in an area that, for some idiotic reason, was populated by people evidently intent on living in what, absent of human interference, would be a malarial swamp? I love the weather. I love how, instead of breathing the air as God intended for human beings to do, I am instead forced to wear the air like some Venom-esque symbiote. I love how the climate breeds mosquitoes roughly large enough to carry off small dogs. I love the fact that the vast majority of home builders seem to never have heard of this wonderful convenience called “central air conditioning”. I love having my forearms stick to the surface of my desk, courtesy of my sweat symbiote. I love bursting into a full sweat approximately 3.2 seconds after I leave a building.
Most of all, I love just how cranky and obnoxious this combination of repressive heat and humidity makes my fellow man.
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