The Power Of Satire

Links and excerpts presented without comment, except to say that I chuckled a good deal over each of these.
Scrappleface: Jailed Journalist Reports NY Times Desecration.

Law enforcement authorities in major U.S. cities put riot police on high alert today after recently-jailed journalist Judith Miller complained that prison guards had desecrated her copy of The New York Times.
“We know that journalists worship the Times,” said one deputy police chief, “If they take to the streets in protest, things could get ugly fast.”
Ms. Miller, who works for the Times’ counter-intelligence department, told an unnamed visitor that her copy of the revered ‘Gray Lady’ had been carelessly tossed on the floor, handled by a conservative Republican jailer (who she called ‘an infidel’) and may have been used as a lining for a cat’s litter box.

Iowahawk: Harry Potter and the Practioners of Ka-Boom.

Voldemort’s eye’s glowered and narrowed as he raised his crooked wand. The four friends prepared for the inevitable, then… the Dark Lord suddenly hunched, doubled over, and collapsed with a high pitched wheeze on the carpet.
“I’m afraid your dark magic is no match for a good swift British kick in the nuts,” said Professor Dumbledore, leaping up and brushing himself off.
“Oh Professor, thank goodness you’re alive!” cried Hermione.
“No time for that now, Hermione! Quickly, Harry, use the banishment spell I taught you! Quickly, before he gets back up!”
“No, sir,” said Harry quietly.
“What… what do you mean, Harry?” asked Dumbledore, dumbfounded.
“I mean sir, maybe the Dark Lord and Professor Galloway and the Al-Dementor insurgents have a point. I mean — we obviously have made them angry, what with all their bombs and soul-eatings and dismemberment spells. Maybe we have oppressed the dark magicians. Maybe the Sorting Hat does unfairly discriminate against Dementor students. Maybe the Muggles have stolen their lands. Maybe knee-jerk retaliation against Voldemort is exactly the sort of thing that will cause them to react with more and more spells.”
Dumbledore looked at Harry in silence.
“And so maybe, Professor, just maybe… we should sit down with Voldemort and Professor Galloway to talk about how we can end all this sensless bombing and spell-casting, and start a real dialog between us and the Dark Arts community, and build real diversity and understanding here at Hogwarts.”

Tempus Fugit: Florida Residents Tortured in Storm Shelter.

Florida residents who flocked to Pensacola area storm shelters to escape hurricane Dennis were treated to physical and mental torture, Tempus Fugit has learned. The conditions endured by shelter patrons closely mirrored the torture that has been occurring at the U.S. military prison in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. In addition, the food served at the storm shelter was not tailored for each person’s ethnic and religious requirements, a perk that even the Guantanamo Bay torture facilities manage to provide. One elderly man died in a Florida storm shelter. Guantanamo Bay has had no such fatalities.
According to the New York Times, patrons of the storm shelter were forced to sleep on concrete floors and were subjected to frigid temperatures brought on by air conditioning units that were set intentionally low.

Heh. Merciless in the mocking, they are. As always, Read The Whole Thing™ in order to maximize mirth input/output.