This Week In Schadenfreude

schadenfreude (SHäʹdÉ™nfroid’É™/), noun: Malicious enjoyment derived from observing someone else’s misfortune.
Okay, maybe not full-on schadenfreude, but these stories certainly induced a certain wry smile or two from Yours Truly.
JammieWearingFool: Somali pirates receive ransom, hilarity ensues.

This is the dramatic moment a ransom of $3million was paid to Somali pirates to end the world’s biggest ship hijacking.
The canister full of cash was parachuted onto the Sirius Star – observed by the U.S. Navy who provided these images – and the two-month ordeal of the 25 crew, including two Britons, was finally over.
However things went badly wrong for the pirates soon after the drop – they squabbled over how to split the money and then a wave washed off their getaway boat and drowned five of them.

Daily Mail (UK): Former French President Chirac hospitalized after mauling by his clinically depressed poodle:

Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to hospital after being mauled by his own ‘clinically depressed’ pet dog.
The 76-year-old statesman was savaged by his white Maltese dog – which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants.

I do not know if a better headline has been written in the history of EVER.
Joystiq: Hubris-encumbered electronics/”entertainment” giant Sony loses $2.9 BILLION due to overlapping product lines, idiotic retention of $399 PlayStation 3 price-point, blinkered pursuit of lawsuits against its own music-sharing customers:
Okay, Joystiq didn’t say that — I did. -ed.

If you’re an overpaid, television design director reading this from a battery-powered, mid-sized LCD panel, you’re about to have a very bad day. After warning that it would post a record $2.9 billion annual operating loss due to weakening demand and a mightier yen, Sony Corp. has unveiled plans to significantly restructure its operations, not to mention that stupid economy’s face.
According to Reuters, the plan is to cut costs by 250 billion yen by March 2010, a move that would see the end of TV manufacturing and design at one plant in Japan and a worldwide reduction in TV design’s headcount by 30 percent. Sony also plans to consolidate resources devoted to batteries (we hope the “anti-explosion” division won’t be too hard hit) and small and mid-size LCDs. The salaries going to directors and managers are also expected to be cut.
See, we told you you’d be having a bad day.

MSNBC: Obama pick to run Treasury (and thus head the IRS) unable to use Turbo Tax, common sense:
There I go, editorializing again! -ed.

Under questioning from Senate Finance Committee Republican member Chuck Grassley, Geithner was very reluctant to disclose which tax filing software he used. He quickly suggested the software wasn’t the problem; he was.
But Grassley pushed back, again asking what software he used. Geithner said, “Turbo Tax.” Grassley then asked if Turbo Tax has brought it to his attention that Geithner needed to pay more taxes. Geithner said, “No.”

Best. Movie Review. EVER.

I was listening to All Things Considered on NPR during my drive home yesterday and heard them tease a review of Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest by “an unusual reviewer”. I thought to myself “They couldn’t possibly be talking about ‘The Ninja’, could they?” Sure enough, after coming back from a brief “sponsorship break”, Robert Siegel led in the story with a discussion of the great ninjas versus pirates debate and introduced “The Ninja” of, who then proceeded to review PoC:DMC (direct link to the non-NPR video review here).
If you’re unfamiliar with Ask A Ninja, you are missing out on one of the Internet’s great simple pleasures. The Ninja fields questions emailed in by visitors and compiles an extremely humorous video podcast on a semi-regular basis, almost like Strong Bad email, only with ninjas. If you’re looking to get caught up, the Ninja’s relationship with physics and Ninja internships (“ninternships”) are two great places to start.