Facts About My Son On The Tenth Day Of His Life Occasioned By A Pediatrician’s Visit

  1. It is very strange to talk about “my son”.
  2. It is exceedingly bizarre that someone would give me naming rights on another human being.
  3. It’s even weirder signing his name on medical paperwork.
  4. Generally, newborn babies lose a not insignificant amount of weight in the week following their birth. Not Will. He gained 10 ounces, bringing him to a grand total of 10 lbs. 6 oz.
  5. Several nurses took him to be a 3 month old.
  6. I could be a biased observer, but it is my contention that I have the single best-looking baby born to humanity. Ever.
  7. He’s a serial “urper”. I swear he actually seems like he can throw up more than that litttle body can possibly hold at one time. It’s wicked bizzare.
  8. He’s a grunter, not a crier. He grunts his disapproval and will only cry for short periods, and only when he’s exhausted all other means of showing his disapproval.
  9. He certifiably stole his daddy’s heart.

5 Replies to “Facts About My Son On The Tenth Day Of His Life Occasioned By A Pediatrician’s Visit”

  1. Well, if he’s anything like me, he’ll foreswear Tha Debbil Alkyhawl until his 21st birthday, at which point he’ll go out and slightly overimbibe Woodchuck cider at Tuesday Wings Night and then go back to his dorm room and play the most enjoyable game of Tribes he’s ever encountered. His teammates will be less than pleased.

  2. Yeah I had some money on the kid being named either Zaphoid Beeblebrox or Yohann Gumblepuddy Devon Austinshire dingle dangle dongle…….

  3. So he is automatically deemed Mialliw Trawets (pronounced Mee-a-lieu Trow-its) by the WW clan then.
    Drofchcor Yeldarb

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