Curse This Noble Tongue!

Did you know that, despite over a thousand years of development, in spite of the poetic contributions of Donne, Whitman, Byron and Tennyson, the farces of Twain and Chaucer, the novel coinings of Shakespeare and the tales of terror and dread of Poe and Lovecraft, there remains no single, concise and appropriate word or phrase to capture the sheer self-flagellatory horror incurred by dropping a full bottle of Aunt Jemima from a height of roughly five feet, the terminus of which resulted in a slow-motion wave of high fructose culinary destruction?

I bet the Germans could come up with a compound word for it, though…

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