1. Only fools visit the vending machines on the day of customer meetings. The wise man waits for his quarry to appear in the kitchenette, slightly stale.
Football Folderol
First off, the bad:
2007 Week 2 Fantasy Football Results
League: Fulford’s Heroes
Deep Fried Turkey defeats Hiphopopotamuses, 114.30 to 106.40.
*sigh* Jemaine’s luck runs out in the second week. I forgot to start Randy Moss who would have netted me another 15 points and secured a win. Them’s the breaks, I guess.
Next, the good:
League: RSGFFCL
Rhymenocerouses defeat Shake & Bake, 116.90 to 93.06.
Bret, on the other hand, did remember to start Moss and was rewarded with a win for his vigilance.
Last, the funny:
Eagles Fans Give McNabb Three-Week Deadline To Win Super Bowl — Onion Sports Network.
PHILADELPHIA—Frustrated with the Eagles’ last-second 16-13 loss to the Green Bay Packers last Sunday, and with quarterback Donovan McNabb’s failure to single-handedly score three touchdowns, prevent two of his teammates from muffing punts, or block any of Green Bay’s field goals, thousands of Philadelphia fans demanded that McNabb win an NFL championship for Philadelphia sometime within the next three weeks.
Heh. It would be far funnier if it weren’t true.
Too Much Time On Their Hands, Oh Yah!
Fargo, reduced to its bare essentials:
Heh.
Don’t Call It A Condiment
…Cause I’m only playing catch-up.
See, because it’s a homonym with… Bah, never mind. On with the Friday Link Dump!
Hollywood is definitely out to retroactively destroy my childhood. How else can one explain their insistence on changing G.I. Joe from hard-charging defenders of America into a namby-pamby “international” strike force under the auspices of the U.N.? Gah! At least TNR has a funny take on the liberal NERFing of Jack Bauer Fox has planned for this next season.
The Top 10 Stadium Anthems That Must Be Retired. I could not agree more with the selections, although the suggested alternatives simply have to be jokes.
Sad news: Madeline L’Engle died yesterday. Funny resultant referential/reverential Fark headline: Tessa-wrecked: Madeline L’engle dies at 88.
Continue reading “Don’t Call It A Condiment”
Masters Of British Comedy
Stumbled across this one today — I’m surprised I’ve never seen it before:
Excellent.
Keyboard-Beverage Proximity Warning
I would advise you not to be drinking anything, cold or hot, when viewing Swedish Bands of the Seventies, as the damage done to your computer’s keyboard will not be minor.
You have been warned. Bork bork bork!
UPDATE:
Apparently, a good hearty digging took up all the poor fella’s bandwidth for the month, so you may have to hit this page to see all the pics in their hideous lounge-suitedness…
Viele Verbindungen
Guten Abend, meine Damen und Herren. Welcome to “Doug’s Brauhaus von Linkenarbeitsgemeinschaftigenluftenwarnungsteinen”. Tonight we are featuring a sumptuous feast of the finest in hand-picked links, personally selected by the owner. Please won’t you consider the menu?
First off, we have two exquisite examples of technological cluelessness, the first of which, “Shut Up I Hack You“, features self-inflicted “haxx0ring” spiced nicely with some inappropriate l33t language and mild cursing. Next, we have the finely-aged Attack of the Repo Men, resplendent with paranoia, legal threats and a near-obsession with Russian hackers. I would suggest a nice hearty red wine to go with either link.
For those of you whose tastes instead run towards a more refined videogames-centric list, we have a wonderful preview of the Wii-specific controller developed for Guitar Hero III, freshly-picked news of a forthcoming “Beirut”/”Beer Pong” game headed for the Wii, a piquant “Jane Goodall among the Geeks of Penny Arcade”-esque article from WIRED and, of course, the trailer for Penny Arcade’s upcoming computer adventure game, “On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness”:Also of interest on today’s menu is a photo gallery of Goth Day At Disneyland 2007, a freshly-caught copyright infringer infringing on infringers who infringed upon him and word of the tarring and feathering of a known drug dealer in Northern Ireland.
Should you find the need to use our extensive, ahem, facilities, I might ask you to brush up on Male Restroom Etiquette:
For dessert, we have a lovely selection of Geeky Wedding Cakes. (I particularly like the Homestar Runner one, personally. Seriously.)
If I may be of any further assistance to you this evening, please don’t hesitate to call me back over to your table. Enjoy!
Tuesday Piffle
I were sick yesterday and thus had nary a moment to spare in posting to the blog.
To make amends, may I present America’s team at the World Beard and Moustache Championships, SturgeonFace.com, the Internet’s only collection of photos of people caught with lower lip extended, sturgeon-like, a coffee mug designed to allow you to precisely pour a perfect cuppa with a color pantone swatch, how to hide an aircraft factory from Japanese bombers, and, last of all, Flight of the Bumblebee “ported” to Guitar Hero 2:
Whoot!
Spam, Distilled
No beating around the bush here, eh?
*chuckle*
Friday Wii Video Throwdown
The Nintendo Wii is opening up all sorts of interesting gameplay possibilities, as evidenced by the following clips from:
Tomb Raider: Anniversary
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Continue reading “Friday Wii Video Throwdown”