Guns Don’t Kill People, DICK CHENEY Kills People

Oy. This can not end well: Vice President shoots, wounds hunting companion over the weekend. I can imagine The Daily Show, The Tonight Show, SNL, The Colbert Report, etc. having a field day with this story. For all you aspiring political cartoonists out there, though, Cox & Forkum have provided you with a helpful template to follow.
Follow-up observation: How long before we get Chuck Norris-/Jack Bauer-esque “Facts About Dick Cheney”? Not long, I’d warrant.
Update: Oy, says I.

10 Replies to “Guns Don’t Kill People, DICK CHENEY Kills People”

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  2. Weapons of mass destruction have been found–it’s DICK all along!
    Hey, so just what was Cheney’s BLOOD ALCOHOL LEVEL at the time of the attempted manslaughter of the senior citizen? What’s that? The local police don’t know cuz obstruction of justice, impeding an investigation, (fill in the criminal charge(s)) began immediately. And how fast did Buckshot Dick get back to D.C.
    So, we are allegedly a nation of laws that Cheney, Bush, DeLay, Frist, et al., do not have to obey?
    And what became of the blasted-away bird?
    Keep up the good work!

  3. And there, folks, we have the essence of a drive-by comment. Nothing said of substance, no unique insight to add to the discussion, just ad hominem invectives and Lefty tripe.
    C’mon Annette, you’ve had what, six whole years to come up with something original, and that’s what you can muster? Sheesh. Overdrawn on your “Chimpy McChimphitler” phraseology ATM card?
    Howsabout you put even one iota of that obvious brainpower of yours into figuring out, oh, I don’t know, how to win elections and stop being a whiny lot of losers. Who knows? Y’all might even swing a few voters to your side if you’re so fortunate as to convince them that you’re not all bat guano crazies intent on destroying the country from the inside before the Islamists even get a chance.

  4. In all seriousness and percieved shadiness aside (why did we hear about only AFTER he was alreayd back in DC?), there is something that needs to be answered:
    How does an experienced hunter, who is accostomed to NOT being alone on hunting outings, shoot someone IN THE FACE? I personally have never hunted, but I have on many occasion handled firearms at the target range or the trap range. I can tell you with certainty that I knew where EVERYONE was before I pulled the trigger, and I was a teen at that point.
    So I’m sorry Mr. VP. You, of ALL people, should refrain from shooting first and asking questions later. This all to much parallels the criticism of the Veeps management ethos, and one must at least ponder whether all the rumors and heresay have merit to them.
    Again – our sitting vice president shot a man IN THE FACE. Call it what you will, but people who believe that accidents happen don’t believe in safety first.

  5. I personally have never hunted[…]

    So you’re speaking from a position of ignorance. Did you read the story in the Corpus Christi paper that fully explained what happened?
    Standard procedure on quail hunts dictates that you walk three abreast. If you drop back, as Whittington did to collect a quail he bagged, you do not approach the other hunters unannounced, as Whittington also did. If you’ve any interest in the story, hit the Caller-Times’ piece about the class of injury (registration site warning; hit BugMeNot for a login).

    How does an experienced hunter, who is accostomed to NOT being alone on hunting outings, shoot someone IN THE FACE?

    Whittington was 30 yards away when he was hit. As stated above, he didn’t announce himself as per proper quail hunting procedure.
    As to why the VP’s office waited 18 hours (the shock! the horror! the unimaginable indignity of being forced to wait! those poor reporters…):

    1. The accident occurred at 5pm on a Saturday
    2. The press corps is relentlessly hostile to the White House
    3. Weekends are traditionally “dump days” for the WH press

    Given those conditions, I can well imagine the press whining, come Monday morning, that the WH was trying to “hide” the shooting by releasing it over the weekend.
    What is it with the relentless conspiracy mongering? It’s like a disease or something, and I’m suprised that you would so easily buy into it, Andy.

  6. Conspiracy mongering is only an issue if there is something there. I brought up the delay because, well, HE IS THE VP. IF HE IN ANY WAY HARMS ANYONE ELSE, FULL DISCOLSURE IMMEDIATELY. That is the only way trust is formed – you don’t sit on it, for ANY reason. If you want to withhold names until family can be gathered, then you say the VP was involved in a hunting accident where the party injured did not follow procedures. You say that immediately to anyone and everyone, precisely to stave off people like me who would wonder: “why are they waiting? what are they covering up?”
    30 yards away and he has a bullet work its way into the heart? Sure, it’s possible, just seems a little one-in-a-million.
    As to my position on hunting, How do I speak of ignorance in saying that you LOOK first, then shoot? If they hunt 3 abreast, and are supposed to be in communication, then why was VP discharging his gun without knowing where his companion was. Strip away the fact that he is your republican idol, and look at it purely on the basis of sanity: was what he did sane, sound practice? If it happened to your father, brother, or wife (because I know she just loves to go out shooting birds in her native land), would you be so defensive? I would be screaming about how not announcing ones-self is stupid, for sure, but only deserving of being shot if the people shooting around you had no idea you were there in the first place.
    So I don’t buy the whole “it was an accident” crap. Accidents don’t just happen. Someone makes them happen, and in this case, the VP flat out should not have discharged his gun. There is nothing left to say on that matter.

  7. 1. My wife’s not germane to this discussion in the slightest, nor does she want to be. Leave her out of it.
    2. You’re acting as though Cheney personally shot one of your relatives. Why so harsh?
    3. “Trust”. You haven’t trusted Cheney since he took the oath of office in ’01, so it’s a might bit hypocritical to be talking about it this late in the game.
    4. Accidents do happen. This particular brand of accident is well-known amongst experienced quail hunters of all stripes.
    5. It’s not a bullet, it’s birdshot – size 7.5 fired from a 28 gauge shotgun – tiny little BBs.

  8. 1) Brought her in to make it personal. Again. Leader of our country. One bullet away (or incredibly unlucky birdshot) from being leader of the free world as we know it. It SHOULD be personal.
    2) See above. There is much concern over this sort of thing precisely because of other events in DC. Does he, and others, have to be held to the same account as other U.S citizens? Should this person die unexpectedly (not saying he will, nor do I hope it), will Chaney be charged? Accident or not, hunters get charges all the time with accidental discharge…
    3) You are indeed correct. But how is me saying “I never trusted him” being hypocritical when his administratuion is doing everything they can to show me they are trustworthy? I mean, lets be honest here: The Bush admin is asking the public to Trust Them on issues of possible domestic spying.
    4) If it is well known, it shouldn’t happen. I know what you are saying, but had thins NOT been Chaney, but Kennedy, Reid, Clinton, pick your dem of the momment, would you be saying the same thing? I would be. If you believe that things just happen, then you don’t believe in personal responsibility. If you allow for these things to happen, even once, then you are accepting that you too may be needlessly wounded because someone was careless, but that carelessness sho9uld be dismissed as an accident.
    5) Fair enough. I will not go into Eraser style calculations at this time…

  9. 1. So if I were to say, “Dead Eye Dick Strikes Again!” that’s a drive-by comment? I think it would just be funny.
    2. Accidents happen all the time, even to me, VPs, and you.
    3. Shooting accidents are quite frequent (my Dad was shot accidentally).
    4. The number one cause of shooting accidents is taking a shot not knowing where someone else is (hence the NJ law for “Hunter Orange”).
    5. Andy 1, when you were at the range, you were at a station and the targets were stationary or launched from a specific location. When hunting, birds are flushed from wherever they are hiding. If you have never been quail hunting before, here are my experiences. Quails won’t flush until you are almost stepping on them. When they do flush, they scare the crap out of you! You have to quickly pull up your gun, lead it, and then fire. You have approx. 1 second to take a shot. Any longer and the bird will be out of range. I will not make excuses for Dick, but those are the facts.
    6. People are rarely seriously injured from birdshot from 30 yards; the effective range to kill a bird is 60 yards! (Unless you get the eyes) The way shotguns work, you point, not aim. You can aim for someone’s heart but you probably won’t hit it, you’ll hit around it. I wouldn’t think the little BB would have enough mass & velocity to penetrate into the heart pass the sternum. Plus, they are made out of lead which will deform when impacting hard material, causing them not to penetrate as deep. That’s why armor-piercing bullets have steel cores so they don’t deform and can penetrate further.
    7. I want to say that the US is blowing this out of proportion almost as much as Muslim’s are about a cartoon. Who cares and how does this really affect you! REALLY!

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