How To Tell Whether You’re Protesting For The Wrong Side In Several Easy Steps

These days, it seems as if everyone is ready and willing to throw together a demonstration, protest, march, or riot at the slightest provocation: Supreme Court appointments, elections, Presidential visits, the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, sports championships (both won and lost), depictions of Calvin peeing on an effigy of Mohammed, etc. It is a wide and confusing world out there and so you may readily find yourself wondering: “I know I’m protesting, but how do I know that I’m protesting the right side of the issue, instead of the wrong?” You’ll be happy to know that I’ve developed a few simple metrics for determining whether you’re protesting the right things or just simply a raving, if sincere, lunatic.
(56k/dial-up warning: Many images follow in the extended section. You’ve been warned.)

Metric 1: Invoking Nazi Metaphors

Take a quick look around at your fellow protestors. Is anyone carrying a sign that posits their opponent as Hitler?

What about appending/prepending “Hitler” to their opponents’ name[s]?
Conclusion: Wrong side.

Metric 2: “Clever” Letter Substitution

Is anyone carrying a sign that has substituted swastikas or other non-alphabetical characters for letters in your opponents’ name, such as dollar signs?
Ummm, ewwww...
Conclusion: Wrong side.

Metric 3: Papier Mache

Are there any giant figures of political personalities constructed entirely of papier mache present at your march?
Paper Mache Bush
How about random other figures, similarly constructed?
Code Pink!
Conclusion: Wrong side.

Metric 4: Philosophers and Cheese

Is anyone carrying a sign referring to a well-known religious philosopher in a humorous manner whose name many people have heard yet whose works few have read?
Is anyone else expressing their support for a dairy product?
Havarti protest humor.
Conclusion: Right side.

Metric 5: Fire

Are any of the other protestors/demonstrators burning anything?
Burnin' down the house.
Are they burning crosses?
The KKK Took My Baby Away
Bonus points if they’re burning something and it’s constructed of papier mache.
Conclusion: Wrong side.

Metric 6: Masks

Are any of your co-demonstrators in danger of an early death via Hellfire missile should their identities come to be known?
Who are those masked men?
Are they attempting to avoid identification by the police?
Anarchists - organized?
Conclusion: Wrong side.

Metric 7: “Constructive” Criticism

Is anyone carrying a sign constructed entirely of LEGO™ Bricks?
lego free speech 3.JPG
Conclusion: Right side.

Metric 8: Yes, But What Do They REALLY Mean?

Listen carefully to your co-protestors. Are any of them chanting “Death to [X]!” or “[X] must die!”?
Conclusion: Wrong side.

Metric 9: The Pigs, The Fuzz, Coppers, 5-0

Are the police there to protect you from others:
Pro-life marchers
…or to protect others from you?
WTO Heck No
Conclusion: Right side, wrong side, respectively.

In Closing…

So remember, the next time you find yourself at a highly-motivated group gathering, you may use these simple steps to easily determine whether you’ve managed to ally yourself with the right side of any given debateprotest.
[Images gathered from Instapundit, Vodkapundit, Zombie, Google Image Search and Yahoo! Image Search.]


No, no, no. I think you have it all wrong. No one has ever used a Nazi reference in history until the Obama was elected. this I know because the media told me so.
Okay, all sarcasm aside, I stumbled upon this post and just had to drop my two cents, very interesting comparisons.