Several disturbing conspiracies have come to light recently and I just can’t keep quiet about them any more.
First up is the Great Shrinking Cadbury Creme Egg conspiracy, as pointed out by noted researcher and comedian B.J. Novak:
I knew something was up when Cadbury, that most English of companies, was gobbled up by a Swiss company in 1969(!). There’s something about that year, man!
First there was “Loose Change“, the insane and ignorant of basic physical realities and, well, physicsbrave documentary that first inspired 9/11 “Truthers” to look into the truth behind our government’s involvement and complicity in the WTC attacks, the Moon landings and disco music. Also, I think Rosie O’Donnell and Charlie Sheen may have watched it a time or two.
In any event, there still remain great conspiracies to be busted: JFK’s assassination by CIA-trained Cubans left over from the Bay of Pigs Invasion and funded by Texas oil interests, Bell Helicopter and the Mafia all supervised by LBJ, George Bush’s 2000 Presidential “win” and the Great Eye on the back of American paper currency (check it out! It’s straight from the Illuminati!). One of the last unvisited conspiracies, though, is the sinking of the Titanic. Fortunately, a brave filmmaker, inspired by Loose Change, has composed Unfastened Coins, a riveting documentary that proves, once and for all, that the Titanic wasn’t sunk by an iceberg but by some kind of “Berg”, if you get my meaning:
That stuff is on the Internet, man, so it must be true!
Conspiracies, Man, Conspiracies!
