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A Query, A Plea, A Shot Into The Night
Is it just the Northeast, or are peanut butter Twix unavailable all across this great nation? I ask, because the caramel variant is a poor relation, an imitation, a candied poseur of the first order whose continued existence in vending machines and on store shelves is unexplainable. Their wrapper is a mockery of proper palates,…
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Our Own Southern Strategery
Last week was a week full of fun, family, friends, frivolity and lots of driving. Brad has already admirably covered our brief stint in Norf Caruhlienuh, so I will decline to comment upon it except to note that I look far more like John Belushi as “Samurai Delicatessen” samurai than the prototypical Westernized depiction of…
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Conspiracies, Man, Conspiracies!
Several disturbing conspiracies have come to light recently and I just can’t keep quiet about them any more. First up is the Great Shrinking Cadbury Creme Egg conspiracy, as pointed out by noted researcher and comedian B.J. Novak: I knew something was up when Cadbury, that most English of companies, was gobbled up by a…
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The Day This Passes In The U.S. Is The Day Texas Passes A “Concealed Stinger Missile Law”
Via Best of the Web we have word of a troubling development in the world of outdoor food preparation: The government of Belgium’s French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported. Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a…
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Happy Thanksgiving, Three Days Late.
I hope all of your Thanksgiving weekends were nice. I spent most of it AFK, as it were. Wife, child and I trekked over to my aunt and uncle’s place in Reading for Thanksgiving Day festivities. In tow we had my wife’s famous cornbread dressing (“stuffing”, to we Yankees), pecan “tassies” (think “miniature pecan pies”…
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Trader Joe’s: Penny Wise, Pound (Extremely) Foolish
Those of you fortunate enough to have a Trader Joe’s grocery store nearby know the wonders of shopping there: vast and various (and ever-changing) selections of foods for prices that lead one to suspect that “Trader Joe” is actually “Trader Joey ‘The Shiv’ Giambino”, ever-willing to sell foodstuffs that just “happened” to “fall off the…
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Oh, The Huge Manatee!
Memo to Brad: If you are unable to convince your employer of the folly of their recent moves, I will hold you personally responsible. I mean, they can sell cigarettes, lunch meat and mac n’ cheese all they want, but when the mess with Miracle Whip, why, they’ve gone too far! They must be stopped,…
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It’s No Twinkie-Wiener Sandwich*, But…
I bow before the meat-eating prowess of R. “Bacon Is A Vegetable” Stevens of Diesel Sweeties fame for his construction of the ultimate American food: Hot Dog Loaf. Take two all-beef franks, wrap them in traditional meatloaf-y goodness and then bake it to completion. Mmmm, beefy. I would have used Ball Park franks instead of…
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It’s A Good Thing I Don’t Drink Miller Beer
…Because otherwise I’d have to stop, seeing as they’re sponsoring a rally for illegal immigration to the tune of $30,000. Disgusting. The beer, I mean. Their actions are deplorable, too. Good thing I’ve got the Ying – cheap, good, local, and, oh yeah, they don’t sponsor illegal immigration.
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Attention, Kellogg’s: Do NOT Hire Sean Gleeson
Dear Kellogg’s Management, As tempting as it may be, I would ask that you actively reconsider any pending hiring decisions for the position of “taste consultant” or “flavor engineer” involving one Sean Gleeson, as the damage to your corporate image could well be irreparable. As evidence for my request, I offer his recent articles Rejected…