This Week In Particularly Preternaturally Potent Porcine Products

First up, the Flaming Bacon Lance Of Death, nuff said:

Next up, Brit scientists prove bacon sandwiches cure a hangover. Oh, bless the Brits!
Lastly, science cannot put a name to the awesomeness of, well, just look:
Noodledogs!
The Boing Boing commenters on the original story helpfully suggest “Noodledogs”, “Cthulhu bits”, “hot doodle”, “doghetti”, “pork calamari”, “pighetti” and a whole host of others. Mmmm-mmmm!

Remember: When It Comes To Scotch Whisky, It’s All About The “e”

The Art of Manliness has an excellent primer on the subject of Scotch Whiskey. A good, quick read if you’re at all taken with the notion of taking up Scotch. And remember: It’s Scotch whisky, the only drink strong enough to change the New York Times’ style guide. Now I’ve just got to find the right occasion to polish off that bottle of Glenfiddich 15yo. Solera Reserve Brad gave me…
[Via Matt Mullenweg]

Great Grandpa B.’s Kiwanis Club Chicken

Update Note: My grasp on family lore was apparently mistaken. Note the corrected portions.
With Father’s Day behind us, we’re into the grilling season proper. My family rang in the summer last weekend with an old family standby: Great Grandpa Blomquist’s “Award-Winning” Chicken. Family legend has it that the recipe was actually my great-grandmother’s but my great grandfather used it to win the Warren County (PA) Kiwanis Club grilling competition to raise money for the Warren County (PA) Kiwanis Club each 4th of July.
In any event, this brine results in extremely tender, tangy and salty chicken that is ever so delicious. Make sure you leave the skins on, as the grilling process renders them golden, crispy and ever-so-tasty. Recipe below.

Great Grandpa B.’s Kiwanis Club Chicken

Ingredients

  • 1 egg, beaten until fluffy
  • 3/4 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 tablespoon poultry seasoning
  • 1 pint (2 cups) vinegar
  • 1/4 cup salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon pepper
  • 1 frier chicken (cut up, with skins) -or-
    12-15 chicken drumsticks (with skins) -or-
    10-12 chicken breasts

Directions

  1. Beat egg in a large bowl until fluffy
  2. Pour in remaining ingredients (order doesn’t really matter)
  3. If you do not have poultry seasoning, make your own: 3 parts sage, 1 part thyme, 1 part pepper
  4. Divide chicken into two parts and place into two gallon-sized zip-top bags
  5. Pour 1/2 of brine mixture into each bag
  6. Squeeze air from bags, seal and place in fridge for at least 4 hours (overnight recommended)
  7. Remove chicken from bags and place on grill. Retain excess brine
  8. Grill over medium-high heat grill. Using basting brush, apply reserved brine mixture to the chicken at regular intervals during grilling. Each side of chicken should be golden brown with a slight char for maximum flavor

Texas Travelogue ’08, Days 3 And 4

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series Texas Travelogue '08

Dallas World Aquarium

Day 3: Monday, March 10th

We spent most of Monday of our first week at the Dallas World Aquarium in downtown Dallas. However, I have little photographic evidence of said trip, as Yours Truly forgot to charge both camera batteries and thus the above snap constitutes the lion’s share of my photographic output for the day.
In any event, it’s a bit difficult to describe the DWA as an “aquarium”, as it houses a menagerie of animals that would be far more suited to the “zoo” appellation. There were tropical birds of all shapes and colors, monkeys, tamarins, flamingos, a leopard, South African penguins, snakes, vampire bats, even a shark tank — the list goes on. Needless to say, Will was ecstatic about the whole affair, particularly the giant river otter and the sharks.
A word about the penguins, if I may: they are dirty, filthy animals and I hope their mothers are properly disgusted at their behavior. Apparently, they aren’t the biggest fans of spectators, so the majority of the flock(?) hid under the concrete walkway surrounding their enclosure, while two of the braver souls defiantly stood erect on the island in the center of the pen, “voiding their penguin colons”, shall we say. If you have never smelled South African penguin poop, you’ve not yet lived, I assure you. Please also note that we visited the gift shop earlier in our excursion, at which time my father-in-law bought Will a stuffed S.A. penguin doll. Those of you with young children will no doubt have already made the logical jump that Will made, connecting the real life penguins with the doll, namely: he now calls the doll “Poopy Penguin” and giggles nigh-uncontrollably whenever the subject comes up. Ahh, the souvenirs we now carry…
After an entertaining morning at the aquarium, we headed back to my in-laws for a relatively mild afternoon. If I recall correctly, we sat down and watched Evan Almighty, a movie my wife and I had not seen. Short review: cute, family-friendly, love Morgan Freeman’s portrayal of God, more plot holes and less character development than an episode of Dragon Ball Z. This viewing was followed by a trip to the salon where my sister-in-law works for haircuts for both my wife and son.
My wife and I ate at the South Greenville Gloria’s with my sister-in-law and her boyfriend that evening and enjoyed the experience immensely. I of course took the opportunity to avail myself of a couple of Shiner Bocks, as I’m always up for the local TX beer of choice.

Day 4: Tuesday, March 11th

I have no photos from that Tuesday, nor do I remember anything particularly eventful, so nothing of any significance must’ve happened, or I’d remember it, right? And even if something did happen, I don’t have the pictures to prove it. *grin*

Euuuugh.

cheezburgerinacan
Ahhh, good old-fashioned German engineering. Who but the Krauts would think of Cheeseburger in a Can?
Wondering what it looks, feels and tastes like? Wonder no more, for intrepid Something Awful forumdweller “Honk” has conducted the test for you. The results are largely what one would expect:
tasteslikesoylent

I’m not sick and I say I would eat this thing again if it weren’t so expensive.
And I relly must say that this propably is faaaar better when you’re many kilometers away from civilization on top of some mountain and you can whip out a cheeseburger with nearly the same quality as a McDonald’s cheeseburger while your friend eats dry bread or power bars.

Heh.

A Query, A Plea, A Shot Into The Night

Is it just the Northeast, or are peanut butter Twix unavailable all across this great nation?
I ask, because the caramel variant is a poor relation, an imitation, a candied poseur of the first order whose continued existence in vending machines and on store shelves is unexplainable. Their wrapper is a mockery of proper palates, as it holds out the prospect of its far more delicious sibling with a “Why not try Peanut Butter Twix?” Oh, M&M Mars, thou foul temptress! Why dost thou mock me so?
Also, do y’all get mint M&M’s at any point other than around Christmas? They used to come in a “minty” green bag, right next to the almond ones…