About a year ago, my wife and I were in the midst of watching the classic Stephen Fry/Hugh Laurie-helmed Jeeves and Wooster and we were allowing our kids to watch it along with us. We had been watching episodes each evening and the kids were keeping up well, though one night my at-the-time 2-year-old daughter fell ill. We put her to bed and watched our normal episode or two with our eldest.
The next morning, our daughter arose and demanded she be shown “Jesus Monster”. We scratched our heads in puzzlement until we realized that she was, in fact, asking to see the episode she had missed out on the previous night. In the spirit of the ever-valuable, ever-geeky Jargon File, I decided to catalog the various amusing and/or endearing malapropisms that my children have churned out over the years.
What follows is by no means comprehensive, but merely a sampling of the ones I have been able to jot down, catalog or otherwise remember.
Continue reading “Pre-K Jargon File”
“Perform This Way”
Weird Al’s initial stab at a title track for his new album met with resistance from the original “artist”.
Or, as @badbanana put it, “The song Lady Gaga didn’t want you to hear[.]”.
Glorious.
UPDATE:
Here’s Weird Al’s side of the story.
UPDATE 2:
I’d be looking for a new manager if I were Lady Gaga. Looks like Al and Gaga have made up and there will be an actual video after all…!
Compound German Neologism Of The Day: Vergeblicherufnummer-suchemüherealisierung
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Vergeblicherufnummersuchemüherealisierung
- Literally: wasted telephone number search-effort realization
- The dawning realization that the business phone number you just spent five minutes tracking down on Google was, in fact, already stored in your phone’s contact list, primarily due to the fact that you previously spent five minutes looking for the exact same number the last time you needed it.
Compound German Neologism Of The Day: Verlorenfreund-überraschenfalschgefähl-geburtstaggrüssung
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Verlorenfreundüberraschenfalschgefühlgeburtstaggrüssung
- noun
- Literally: Surprised by a lost friend fake enthusiastic birthday greeting
- The false bravado one adopts upon encountering an estranged friend while attending a third party’s child’s birthday party.
(Ref. inspiration)
Compound German Neologism Of The Day: Apfelzerstörenangst
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Apfelzerstörenangst
- noun
- Literally: Apple destroying anxiety or dread
- The sense of existential dread one experiences in the moments after dropping one’s lunch sack and having heard a sickening “thunk”, thus assuring the bruised-beyond-recognition of one’s apple.
“Dad Life”: Painfully Autobiographical
At first, I was like “Heh.”, then I was like “Ohhhh…”, then I was like “Ouch.”
I mean, they’re even driving an exact doppelgänger of my minivan. Very ouch, baby.
I’ll Take A Bit More Pocus In My Hocus, Thank You Very Much
Brilliant:
Or should I say “clever”?
(Via @scalzi.)
Continue reading “I’ll Take A Bit More Pocus In My Hocus, Thank You Very Much”
Try To Contrail Your Laughter
Spoof Flash-based game + grammatically-challenged review + epic dramatic reading of review + Carl Orff + Flash typography animation = well, this bit of genius:
Explain to me, EXPLAIN TO ME! why this is so funny.
LAUGHTER = VERY YES
I laugh, because the alternative is to cry:
If only ’tweren’t so true.
Via Laughing Squid, who you probably ought to be subscribing to anyways.
Who YOU Gonna Call?
This guy?
Maybe.
(Via Laughingsquid’s A Cappella Multitrack of Ghostbusters theme performed solo. That pretty much summarizes it, actually.)