Doug, Doug, Gray Doug
What do you get when you cross Finnish rock band The Leningrad Cowboys with the Soviet Red Army choir singing “Sweet Home Alabama”, complemented by backup dancers straight out of a B-52s video? This profound moment of cross-cultural Zen:
So I don’t know if y’all have seen the depths of insanity to which Tom Cruise has been driven by the neo-Gnostic Cult O’ Hubbard, but Gawker has a long video of 1/2 of Tomkat blathering on about just what a spectacular human being Scientology has turned him into, as well as videos from the Huggy Bear/Flava Flav Freedom Medal Of Valor And Honor And High-Fallutin’ Whatnot award ceremony in which Tom sends a shout-out to ol’ LRH. Watch ’em now, as the Xenu-haters have already turned their legal dogs loose on Gawker and it’s only a matter of time before the barratry takes its course.
Then, after you’re done getting depressed at just how weirded out, mannnn, Tom Cruise has become, laugh a little at Jerry O’Connell’s pitch-perfect parody of the whole creepy incident.
Finally, finish the afternoon off with a soothing reminder from Jonathan Coulton that, hey, at least you’re not Tom Cruise, right?
[audio:03_Thing_a_Week_33_-_Tom_Cruise_Crazy.mp3]
Have you ever wanted to embed a server in the corpse of a frog, wire up the frog’s legs so that said server can activate said frog’s leg muscles via a galvanic reaction, suspend the whole affair in a tank of mineral oil, hook the server up to the Internet, allow users to activate the frog’s legs remotely while watching the contraption on a webcam, install the whole affair in a gallery and call it art?
No?
Well, thank goodness, humanity has you covered, should the thought ever arise.
(“Und next on ‘Germanys Most Disturbing Home Videos’, ve haf a grown man in a diaper running through a sprinkler…”)