An Open Letter To Proctor & Gamble

XXXXX XXXX, Pennsylvania

06 January 2006

Customer Suggestions Department
Proctor & Gamble Company
2 P&G Plaza
Cincinnati, OH 45202 U.S.A.

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you with a question combined with a suggestion.

As the manufacturers of the Pampers line of infant and baby diapers, I question your overall sense of judgement and experience in parenting, not to mention your diaper design specs. Pampers are generally considered to be the top-of-the-line diapers, beating out Huggies, Luvs, and storebrands gallore and this “quality” is met with a commensurate price difference when compared to those other brands. Given this reputation for quality, I simply have to ask: why do your diapers lack a rear elastic waistband?

Huggies, both Supreme and non-Supreme, contain such a feature. While the utility of such a thing might seem of dubious provenance to someone unfamiliar with the child-rearing process, experienced parents nationwide will be able to attest to elastic waistbands’ ability to stop the dreaded “jet of poo” effect. I speak here from a position of repeated tragic personal experience.

Please see to this oversight immediately, if not sooner.

Thank you,

A Concerned Parent

4 Replies to “An Open Letter To Proctor & Gamble”

  1. Send it to Wodger in Mahoopany…

    ..And I say this with a sly grin: It gets worse then the jet up the nape of the back my friend. Wait until he’s mobile, and in need of immodium (which he can’t have until he’s like 6 – Our best find thus far is cream cheese and bananas, not together of course).

  2. Ha! The brother in law actually got on here! That’s a riot. I was going to streamline this to the two related P&G engineers, but no need to now!

  3. Umm…You still need to send it on, as there is no evidence that he read it. I just dropped a name…

  4. Well, according to a good friend at work, Immodium is heroin that only affects your stomach, or, in his coinage, your “second brain”.

    So, like, umm, think on that for a while, or something.

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