The Eagles’ humiliating chokefest would have been far more entertaining to Yours Truly were it not for two incovenient facts:
- I have Donovan McNabb as my starting fantasy quarterback – I needed more points out of Ol’ Foot Tosser
- I dislike the New York Football Giants far more than I dislike the Eagles
That being said, the loss did have a further upside in the form of the following amusing email sent out by one of my fantasy compatriots:
A History of the World, Part III:
And it came to pass that the tribe of giants entered into the land of God’s chosen people. A young man named David, of the clan of the Achers, set forth to defend the Lord’s honor by attacking the enemy camp. But lo, he was put down. But lo lo, he did rise up! But lo lo lo, he was put down again.
Donte Python and the Life of Brian:
Soon thereafter, the Lord spoke to His people: “And you shall rise up on wings of eagles, and you shall attack to your enemies to the west of the brook, and I shall place a kearse on their heads. And you shall come to pass.” Thus God’s chosen people didst sack their enemies with a sure and swift hand.
Donte Python and the Holy Hail (Mary)
After God’s children had routed their enemies, they didst forget the words God had said about coming to pass, and lo they did run. And run again. And whilst they did run, they did not move forward. And God spoke saying, “A bent reed I will not crush, but a fat reid I cannot stop from falling over if it insists on running.” And God raised up Eli, the high priest, to be a thorn in the sides of God’s children for being disobedient. And lo, a giant from the land of Plax came forth spewing sewage from his mouth towards God’s children, taunting them to distraction. And no one was found in all the land who could slay the giant, and behold he did wreak havoc.
Deep Fried (Go Steelers!)