Thank YOU, Mr. Spammer, For The Confidence Boost

I check my Akismet queue each morning and note, usually with some amusement, the lengths to which spammers seem to be going in order to try to hawk their pornography, stock “tips” and manhood-enhancing wares on my site. Some opt for hundreds of links in a single comment (these seem to be a favorite of the porn spammers), others forgo all niceties and just post “Links: …” while the largest group, by far, seeks to butter me up. For instance:

My dear web designer, it is nice.

Why thank you! I do rather like the design myself.

Your site rocks

Yes, yes it does.

Thank you for your work!

I do what I can, for I am just a humble caveman blogger.

You have a nice site


You have a great site

It’s great to know you think it’s nice.

Hello , it is cool amazing page!

Thank you for your comment. It was simultaneously cool and amazing.

It is the coolest site,keep so!

I fully intend on doing so, sir.

You have an exelent[sic] site

Thank you for the compliment. At least, I think it’s a compliment. My dictionary is curiously missing an entry for “exelent”, although Merriam-Webster did suggest either “exhalant” or “exalt”. Perhaps you were exalting my site?

I never visit this site before.

And now you have. Would you call it “great”, “cool”, “amazing”, or “nice”? Perhaps “the coolest”? Does it “rock”?