…The Heck Is WRONG With Spammers These Days?

Is a cruddy-looking lawn really all that common of an occurrence these days? I mean, honestly, I’ve gotten more of these than “manhood enhancement” solicitations in my Yahoo! spam filter over the last few months:
Grass spam.
The first few times I got ’em, I didn’t even open them. Figured “Grow Your Lawn Faster And Thicker” was pretty naked slang for the above-mentioned “manhood” pills, but no! They actually meant “grass seed”!
There is something seriously messed up in this country. I’ve begun to think that former Nigerian royalty will start asking me to help move a great quantity of Kentucky Bluegrass seed out of some warn-torn sub-Saharan country any day now…


Greetings Mr. Barrage!
I am an agent of our great leader Mecka-Lecka-Hi in the small nation of Hiney-Ho. We are an agricultural people, however our neighbors to our south – the chair’ees, are sedentary, and their ways are spreading. We need to ensure our ways survive, even if our people convert. You have been selected by international lottery to be the receive our treasured product, super-grow-grass. Due to international regulations, we can not ship this wonderful product without first collecting a fee. For a small token sum of $19.95 US dollar, we can share our success and continue the legacy of our great people. Please wire these funds to our account at CountryWide financial.