There Is No Cone But Allah And Muhammad Is His Fry-Flinger

Have you heard about the latest politically correct kerfuffle involving (and I’m not making this up) British Muslims, Burger King, and a “sacreligious” frosty dessert confection? No? Apparently, Allah is actually a thick chocolate swirly ice cream cone and BK is guilty of depicting him in all his lactose-intolerant glory. A British Muslim noted this obvious heresy, declared a personal jihad against BK and demanded that they change the “offending” packaging so as to not depict the name of his false moon god.
Jeff Goldstein calls BK’s knuckling-under a ceding of iconic linguistic control to the forces of evil while Robert Spencer offers photographic evidence that Allah may, in fact, be a chocolate swirly cone. Additionally, Slim999 offers up a new spin on BK’s perennial favorite among the breakfasting crowd, the Croissandwich“Crescent Roll of Embrace”.
(Ref. Michelle Malkin in re: the Flight 93 Memorial controversy on that last one.)

A Reconsideration

After a nudge from my wife, I have taken a look back at my posts regarding Hurricane Katrina and the aftermath of that storm and have realized that I came across as extremely strident and meanspirited. I’d like to apologize for that tone and at least partially retract some of my posts. I’ll leave them in place but strike out the portions that I’ve come to regret.
I was coming at the whole Katrina miss with a bit of a skewed perspective – I was on the road when the whole thing went down and couldn’t quite bear to turn the TV to the news channels. Sitting alone in a hotel room is no time to get depressed at mass visions of human suffering, thus I watched a lot of Sports Center and Cartoon Network and relied upon web news sources to keep me informed while simultaneously keeping me at arms-length from the tragedy. I definitely think this level of abstraction fueled my reactions.
Instead of feeling compassion for those affected by the storm (I can’t call them “victims”, as the media does. It just doesn’t seem quite right, somehow. I don’t know what word to use in its stead, though.), I have found myself angered, frustrated and infuriated by the reactions of New Orleans city and Louisiana state officials and the news media that seems only too willing to carry everything from an anti-Bush slant. I’ve fumed at Gov. Blanco and Mayor Nagin’s sheer chutzpah at attempting to blame the aftermath on Bush Administration inaction when it’s eminently clear to any paying attention that the fault lies directly at their feet. I’ve been angered by the predatory thugs willing to shoot at rescue helicopters, rape defenseless young women and pillage stores. I’ve raged at commentators on the Left, editorialists on NPR and reporters on TV for their sensationalism and readiness to assign blame and politicize things before the situation on the ground had even come under control. Basically, I’m pissed that who had the power to act, and, in the case of LA politicians, who have had decades to prepare for this eventuality, sat idly by and twiddled their thumbs while the most defenseless among the people of NO/LA lay in the path of a killer storm. They did nothing on time, let alone semi-effectively, if the reports coming out now are accurate. If there is any justice in this world, not only will they be stripped of their offices but they will be publically flogged and then escourted to the state line and politely but firmly told to never, ever return unbidden.
However, while all of this private fury might be a catharsis of a sort, it’s ultimately as unfruitful as it is un-Christian. By dwelling on the negatives, I am in essence ignoring the heroic actions of Mississippi and Alabama officials who, by all accounts, have handled things brilliantly. Not only that, but I am ignoring the incredibly generous actions of the city governments of San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, and Baton Rouge and the charitable acts of the state gov’ts. of Texas, Georgia, Arkansas, Tennessee, let alone the actions of numerous colleges offering courses to displaced Tulane students.
So, enough for the time being. There will be a time for laughing, there will be a time for politicking and there will be more than enough blame to go around. But not now. And not here.

No Words

Of all the things I wanted to wake up to this morning, CNN.com declaring in the largest letters possible

54 DEAD IN MISSISSIPPI

Levee Breached in New Orleans

wasn’t one of them.
I’m sure that number will rise, as these things inevitably do. I pray for the families who have lost loved ones to this storm – may God bless them and provide for them in this time of loss and grief and may He strengthen the rescue workers who have a lot of dangerous and exhausting work ahead of them. For those of you in Mississippi, Louisiana and surrounding areas – know that we’re praying for you. For those of us unaffected by this – let’s pull together and do something akin to what we did for the victims of last year’s tsunami in S.E. Asia. I’m sure opportunities will arise.
(Small point: Does anyone else find CNN’s headline just a tad, well, ghoulish? Fox News’ main headline is “Flood Waters Burst Levee Barriers”. One conveys a bit of information, one gets caught up in the numbers. It’s almost as if their obsession with the Iraq body count has been carried over into this tragedy.)

Not A Good Week For Pro-Abortion Forces

NARAL is attempting to run a smear campaign against (soon-to-be) Justice John Roberts by running a TV ad associating him with an abortion clinic bombing perpetrated by Eric Rudolph. The only problem is that the very premise of the ad is verifiably false. FactCheck.org takes NARAL out behind the woodshed for a good whoopin’ on this subject.
The Left is trying their darndest to Bork Roberts and, up to this point, have failed miserably. Let’s hope they continue to do so.

You Know What’s Funny? Killing People That Don’t Agree With you.

…Well, at least if you’re from Planned Parenthood. Then, it’s perfectly fine to craft a cartoon depicting drowning, suffocating, blowing up and decapitating people who disagree with your position in re: killing unborn children.
What does it say that I’m no longer surprised by this sort of crap spewing from the Left? I thought that NARAL’s recent Screw Abstinence party would surely mark a low point for idiotic propaganda and contemptible rhetoric from the have-sex-and-kill-babies-at-any-cost crowd, but I guess I was wrong.
But by all means, Planned Parenthood, continue spewing crass rhetoric! After all, once rabid pro-abortionists can no longer make animated vignettes portraying the slaughter of ideological opponents simply so that kids can have sex “without” consequences, well then, I guess the terrorists will have won, or something, right?

Good On Ya, Cisco Shareholders!

Over the past few years, Cisco has willingly and knowingly participated in the suppression of free speech in mainland China via the so-called Great Firewall of China. While they are by no means alone in their cravenly actions (they are joined by Microsoft, Yahoo! and Google), their cooperation with the repressive regime is by far the most extensive.
Some of Cisco’s shareholders are (rightfully) miffed at this disgusting pursuit of profits over morals and have decided to call Cisco on the carpetat the next shareholders’ meeting. I can only hope that Microsoft, Yahoo! and Google, publically-traded companies all, are forced to endure such treatment at their respective meetings as well.

A Moving Account Of Personal Suffering

The Anchoress has recently been going through a series of physical trials and sufferings that may eventually leave her deaf. We humans tend to lash out in anger and frustration in such situations and the Anchoress, in her own words, is no different. However, after yelling at God and demanding answers from Him, she was moved to pen an extremely moving essay entitled “Listen“.
A brief excerpt:

We can do such numbers on ourselves, sometimes. We can willfully shatter our own spirits, plunge ourselves into a bleak, lugubrious brood of misery, and we can do it so quickly…particularly if we are unwilling to listen.
Driving Buster to work last night, I told him what was going on and gave him a taste of my “it’s not fair,” rant. He was, as ever, thoughtful and sympathetic. And fast with a response, too, one I needed to hear.
“Ma, listen,” Buster said, “don’t you remember about Job? Remember how heavy his afflictions were, and how he was tested…”
“Screw Job, I’m not Job,” was my heated response. “I’m not some great model for mankind, here, and there is no greater purpose being served…”
But Buster’s arrow had hit the mark, and by the time I pulled into the parking lot my head was bowed in shame, because I knew better. “I know that everything works to God’s purposes, I know it. ” I admited to my son. “But this sucks. Why is all of this happening to me? Why is all this crap being piled on? Not that I want it all to happen to someone else, God forbid! But why does it have to be me? I feel like my body is falling to pieces and I’m…I’m just so angry!”
“Ma…what have you told me, all my life? God always uses the imperfect – the weak and humble and broken things to strengthen and build up and heal the world.”
“I’ve never said that!” I sobbed.
“You say it all the time!” Buster laughed. “You point it out all the time! About King David, St. Peter, St. Bernadette, John Paul II, Terri Schiavo, President Bush, heck, even the Agnus Dei, the Lamb of God was first made weak, humbled and broken…”
“Well, I’m not any of them!”
“No, you’re not,” he agreed, smiling as he got out of the car and walked around. Leaning in to give me a kiss, he said, “you’re not any of them, and you don’t have their greatness, you’re just an insignificant woman in a small suburban town…but in your little world, your broken little self can be used for something good, if you let Him use it. Maybe you should stop complaining and listen. Maybe all that silence in your future is so that you can hear something else.”

Read the whole thing. I found myself touched by her sincerity and in awe of her Job-like take on things. It’s truly a witness to her Godly character that she has raised a son so wise and willing to respond so gently, yet firmly to her cries.

The Power Of Satire

Links and excerpts presented without comment, except to say that I chuckled a good deal over each of these.
Scrappleface: Jailed Journalist Reports NY Times Desecration.

Law enforcement authorities in major U.S. cities put riot police on high alert today after recently-jailed journalist Judith Miller complained that prison guards had desecrated her copy of The New York Times.
“We know that journalists worship the Times,” said one deputy police chief, “If they take to the streets in protest, things could get ugly fast.”
Ms. Miller, who works for the Times’ counter-intelligence department, told an unnamed visitor that her copy of the revered ‘Gray Lady’ had been carelessly tossed on the floor, handled by a conservative Republican jailer (who she called ‘an infidel’) and may have been used as a lining for a cat’s litter box.

Iowahawk: Harry Potter and the Practioners of Ka-Boom.

Voldemort’s eye’s glowered and narrowed as he raised his crooked wand. The four friends prepared for the inevitable, then… the Dark Lord suddenly hunched, doubled over, and collapsed with a high pitched wheeze on the carpet.
“I’m afraid your dark magic is no match for a good swift British kick in the nuts,” said Professor Dumbledore, leaping up and brushing himself off.
“Oh Professor, thank goodness you’re alive!” cried Hermione.
“No time for that now, Hermione! Quickly, Harry, use the banishment spell I taught you! Quickly, before he gets back up!”
“No, sir,” said Harry quietly.
“What… what do you mean, Harry?” asked Dumbledore, dumbfounded.
“I mean sir, maybe the Dark Lord and Professor Galloway and the Al-Dementor insurgents have a point. I mean — we obviously have made them angry, what with all their bombs and soul-eatings and dismemberment spells. Maybe we have oppressed the dark magicians. Maybe the Sorting Hat does unfairly discriminate against Dementor students. Maybe the Muggles have stolen their lands. Maybe knee-jerk retaliation against Voldemort is exactly the sort of thing that will cause them to react with more and more spells.”
Dumbledore looked at Harry in silence.
“And so maybe, Professor, just maybe… we should sit down with Voldemort and Professor Galloway to talk about how we can end all this sensless bombing and spell-casting, and start a real dialog between us and the Dark Arts community, and build real diversity and understanding here at Hogwarts.”

Tempus Fugit: Florida Residents Tortured in Storm Shelter.

Florida residents who flocked to Pensacola area storm shelters to escape hurricane Dennis were treated to physical and mental torture, Tempus Fugit has learned. The conditions endured by shelter patrons closely mirrored the torture that has been occurring at the U.S. military prison in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. In addition, the food served at the storm shelter was not tailored for each person’s ethnic and religious requirements, a perk that even the Guantanamo Bay torture facilities manage to provide. One elderly man died in a Florida storm shelter. Guantanamo Bay has had no such fatalities.
According to the New York Times, patrons of the storm shelter were forced to sleep on concrete floors and were subjected to frigid temperatures brought on by air conditioning units that were set intentionally low.

Heh. Merciless in the mocking, they are. As always, Read The Whole Thing™ in order to maximize mirth input/output.