Texas Travelogue ’08, Day 5

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Texas Travelogue '08

Day 5: Wednesday, March 12th

It’s been a long time since I added anything to this year’s travelogue, so I thought it might be a good time to throw together a bunch of photos I took on the Wednesday of our trip.
My in-laws have a dear friend who is starting her own photo studio and who agreed to take some high quality pictures of Will and Kate in the park across from my wife’s childhood home. While all the fuss and commotion was in process, I managed to snap a few “behind the scenes”-esque shots, some of which are reproduced below the fold.
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Run For Your Lives!

If Matt Damon and Tom Brady somehow managed to collectively father a love child and that child grew up, got himself an agent and began doing modeling for stock photography sites, it is my contention that said child would look exactly like the lad gracing the Fusion Charts Free page:

Egads! I shall call him “MatTomBraDamon”!

Youngme / Nowme

This is a pretty nifty idea: Youngme / Nowme asks folks to send in photos of themselves 1) from their younger years then 2) recreating (to the best of their ability) the scenes in the photos right now. Some are hilarious, some are touching, all are worth looking through.

The Feminization Of America[n Authors]

I opened my email this morning and came across a Barnes & Noble [note: their name sounds infinitely better when pronounced with a thick Boston brogue. -ed.] email flier advertising the latest Stephen King novel. The flier featured the following prominent picture of Mr. King:
Stephen Kaaaang!
Now, normally, when I think “Stephen King”, I think
Stephen King.
With the above-mentioned photo, though, all I’m picking up is
Dame Judi Dench
Creepy. I know King is the purported “master of horror”, but c’mon, that’s just freaky.

I’m Unsure As To The Cultural Significance Of Any Of This (Or: Obama Is A Cylon)

UPDATE: Welcome, Instapundit readers. Please note that we’re proudly running WordPress, despite Prof. Reynolds’ unkind words about it. *grin* (Surviving the Instalanche thanks entirely to Donncha’s excellent WP Super Cache plugin)
John "Col. Tigh" McCain!
Aron and I have long noted that Battlestar Galactica‘s Colonel Tigh (played by Michael Hogan) bears a more-than-striking resemblance to one Senator John McCain, an observation evidently shared by others (click the pic above to see the full image). However, we were unprepared for the sheer BSG-related brilliance a slip of the tongue could unleash.
Evidently, Aron’s wife inadvertently let current events slip into her speech the other night and, in referring to Edward James Olmos’ character, called him “Admiral Obama”. Aron shared this with me the next day and we had a good laugh over the prospects for a BSG-themed campaign.
And then he went and did something, well, brilliant:
Battlestar Galactica — the Campaign Edition
(Click the picture for full-size.)
That’s right, he gimped Obama and Clinton into the BSG continuum, with Barack as Lee Adama and Hillary as Starbuck. The disturbing mental Lee-Starbuck smooching visions this conjures up should likely be avoided by most thinking adults, as they are quite difficult to shake, I assure you, but the humor value far outweighs the risks in my opinion. [NOTE: Some seem to be under the misapprehension that the above picture is actually one of Obama and Clinton “smooching” — not so. Clicking the link only takes you to the full-sized version, I assure you. -ed.]
Now we just need to get Jeff Harrell to update his t-shirt design to read “Obama is a Cylon” and the circle shall be complete.
PS: I hereby declare myself the Official Google Winner for the first recorded electronic use of the phrase “Obama Is A Cylon“.
PPS: Non-watermarked version available upon request.
Here’s the rendering of the GOP that Aron gimp’d, back when this was still fresh and there was more than TighMcCain standing in the Republican field:

Click the image to see the embiggened source.

O What A Tangled Web…!

I’ve always been slightly creeped out by the larger-than-life posters advertising Joel Osteen’s latest Christian self-help tomes yet couldn’t put a finger on why, exactly. It finally struck me when I was confronted by yet another poster at the train station next to the farmers’ market we frequent and my mental calculus put two and two together:
Tim Allen + Martin Short = Joel Osteen, only smaller
He looks precisely like the bizarre love-child of Tim Allen and Martin Short. So, off to Teh Intarwebs I went to grab some photographic fodder, with the intention of producing the image you see above. Little did I know what I was getting myself into.
Apparently, Osteen is not merely a well-spoken mild heretic but a young lieutenant in the Beast Prophets From Hell1, recruited by the CIA during his time at Oral Roberts University, well-known hotbed of government-sponsored mind control experiments. This collection of false prophets includes Pat Robertson and Billy Graham, both of whom, and I am not making this up, are Illuminati/Masons (levels 32 and 33, respectively) and are known to throw up the Satanic Salute every once in a while.2
Could it be... SATAN?

*Artist’s rendering of the salute

Other noted Satanists apparently include Laura, Jenna and George, all three of whom are known to swear fealty to the Dark Lord via carefully-coded hand signals, or so one might be led to suspect. Also, the entire state of Texas is populated by Satanists, given this evidence (well, except for Aggie fans).
Several of the Beast Prophets are known to inhabit UFOs that circle the globe awaiting the perfect opportunities to descend to Earth and invade people’s near-death experiences to deceive them into believing that they have seen Jesus.
Additionally, and once again, I am not making this up, Lucifer himself has taken direct control of the Illuminati (Fnord!) and leads them himself, meaning Robertson, Graham, T.D. Jakes and others are all Illuminati, Masons, members of the Beast Prophets (From Hell!) and direct-reports to Satan. Seriously, they’re the next tier down on the Org Chart Of Hades3.
Therefore, my revised Internet Calculus probably ought to read something like this:
Claus + Glick = Teh Devil! only smaller
It’s a good thing I didn’t go looking for photographic proof that Hamid Karzai is the result of Ben Kingsley mating with himself, or…
Awww, who am I kidding:
Kingsley vs. Kingsley, only smaller
1This would make an excellent name for a band.
2Please note: this post pokes fun at the deranged rantings of an obviously misled and/or disturbed soul. The author holds none of it to be true and roughly on the same level as Scientology. Dum-da-dum-dum-dummmm!
3Title track from The Beast Prophets From Hell‘s forthcoming long-form LP, available soon at all FYE locations.

An Incredible View Of Downtown Philadelphia

A few lucky private citizens were lucky enough to be invited to take a tour of the still-under-construction Comcast Center in Center City Philadelphia. One enterprising blogger amongst the crowd documented the trip in pictorial form (the above panorama is an image from the 55th story). There are some incredible shots amongst the ones he managed to grab, particularly the picture of the BFP to the Museum of Art, the shot of the PMA itself and the birds’-eye shot of LOVE Park.
If you’re a Philly native or are simply interested in urban architecture, you owe it to yourself to check out the gallery.